Today I feel like one of my students- I don’t know what to write. I have lots swirling around in my brain, but nothing is well formed enough to become a piece of text. I’m sure it’s because of the long weekend and the extra long day with the start of conferences.
How is it that I can think about so much and have so little to write about?
I’ve been thinking a lot about how writing has been intimidating because I don’t want to be judged. I’ve been surprised by how freely ideas have come since beginning this challenge, but I think it’s because I’m writing for myself and am not too worried about my audience, because I don’t really know my audience. I can’t really be judged if it’s by strangers can I? I guess I can, but it should hurt less than if it were by someone I actually knew.
Today seems different, though. Today I don’t feel free to write, as if everything I need to say is too personal to let out into the world. I don’t even think it’s because I’m afraid of being judged, but afraid of dealing with the emotion again.
Emotion can be difficult to write about. It makes me vulnerable. I don’t think I’m ready to be vulnerable to the world tonight.